It rained here early this morning. The weather has been nice and cool, very autumn-like. As I pulled into the parking lot at work today, I noticed puddles of water standing here and there on the blacktop. I suppose it rained more in town than at my house. I parked, got out, and began to walk in. As I did, I noticed a worm. Then I saw another, and another. There were, literally, dead worms in the lot every few steps. It has been a while since I have either seen this, or noticed it, and I began to think about it on my walk to the door. My first thought was, oh, tough luck you stupid worm, you crawled all the way from the grass and dirt to over here and then what? You got tired and gave up? You died from exhaustion? What the heck were you thinking, anyway? Why did you leave your nice home, only to die on the nasty blacktop?
And then I remembered hearing that worms come out of their holes when it rains hard. And I wondered if maybe it had rained so hard they were washed out into the parking lot, only to drown or find themselves unable to crawl back to the safety of their homes. I was still thinking about the worms when I saw Jackie, and I mentioned them to her. "I know," she said. "It's almost as if they fall from the sky." Well, do they, I wondered? And how could that be? Wouldn't I or at least someone I know have been hit in the head with a falling worm at some point in my life? I mean, I have been pooped on by birds several times (and I vividly recall each time). I mulled that over for a few seconds and decided that there was no logical way that could happen, although I do recall my father telling me once that ponds somehow get fish in them, even if they aren't stocked. But these are worms, not fish, and I don't pretend to understand the fish thing, either.
So, I decided to look it up. I will digress here for a moment and mention that I think the internet is the coolest thing since, well, anything. I am constantly amazed that someone has posted information on the very subject I am looking up. I guess maybe the next thing I will do is become one of those people. Maybe. Someday.
Well, I wasn't at all surprised to find information on why worms leave their holes. It turns out that people have been wondering about this for many, many years. The general consensus among my friends is that they emerge from their holes during heavy rains so as not to drown. As it turns out, this probably isn't true. Worms don't have lungs, which is something I guess I knew but never considered. By the way, we were supposed to dissect frogs in 10th grade biology class, but for some stupid reason we got worms, instead. Their innards were just a tad bit hard to see, if you know what I am saying. The only thing I remember about that was Todd Tyler taking a dare from Lee Crume and swallowing one of the worms for all the money that Lee collected from the class. This transpired in full view of Mr. Roby, who watched silently and never said a word. I turned to him after Todd did the deed, and I asked if that would hurt him (Todd). After all, the worm had been preserved in formaldehyde. Mr. Roby simply said, "We'll see." That is what I now call "unflappable". He, on the other hand, probably just didn't care.
Charles Darwin wondered about worms, and wrote an entire book about them in 1881. He speculated that "It is not probable that these worms could have been drowned, and if they had been drowned they would have perished in their burrows. I believe that they were already sick [perhaps due to parasite infestation], and their deaths were merely hastened by the ground being flooded." That Charles, what a crack-head. A wormologist, Richard Wahl, writes: "Worms do not drown when it rains. . . . Worms of all kinds are highly susceptible to dessication [drying out]. They breed when it rains. They come out of the ground to find each other and to lie side by side in a mating posture, a difficult thing to do in the confines of their burrows. [And we complain about the back of a Ford!] The only time earthworms can safely come to the surface to breed is when the ground is thoroughly soaked. . . . Worms don't have lungs." I have no idea if the worms are having sex, wriggling for their lives or committing mass suicide, but if you want to learn even more you should check out http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/372/why-do-worms-crawl-on-the-sidewalk-after-it-rains
And that is how a fleeting thought this morning became a subject to be researched. I have an illness, I know not what it is called. A chronic case of curiousity. Wormitis, maybe. Insanity, probably.
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